Keeping the Peace Among Siblings

Our assisted living facility California makes it easy for family visits.Handling the needs of an aging parent is a task that requires teamwork, understanding, communication and cooperation among the senior’s grown children. The stress that comes with the situation can be overwhelming, making it difficult to get things done and work together. Conflict over many different issues—what kind of care is needed, who will do what, etc…—is common. But there are steps siblings can take to make this task easier. First, conduct a group meeting with all siblings and any other affected parties. The meeting will give the opportunity to lay out the issues at hand, brainstorm solutions, and establish individual roles for each person. Come to an agreement on an agenda in advance and remember to take notes. Keep focused on the aging parent’s needs and wants. Try to find the best possible avenue for obtaining these things and assign tasks to each caregiver. Be sure to establish roles among family members early in the process. These aren’t set in stone: it’s possible to redistribute roles later. It’s common for one sibling to become the primary caregiver. This can occur for many reasons, including living in an area close to mom or dad and having available time and resources. Unless siblings agree to this arrangement in advance, this can cause resentment, misunderstanding, and frustration. Not every caregiver is going to have an equal responsibility. Acknowledge individual strengths and weaknesses and assign duties accordingly. Discuss what each person is willing and capable of doing. Family crises can resurface old grudges and create resentments. Siblings can avoid this by setting up discussion rules. If possible, have regularly scheduled meetings with all caregivers, perhaps once a month or once a year, where everyone can discuss issues and concerns. Remember that working as a team is more productive and less hassle than working against each other. The aging parent and their needs are the primary focus, not settling family debates. If arguments continue to block progress, seek out information on elder mediators. Mediators are third-person professionals who can handle sensitive family debates on aging parents in a fair, honest way. It is essential to involve family members who appear to be in denial or unwilling to participate. Their assistance will help keep the amount of work from burdening the other caregivers and keep resentment at bay. The easiest way to get a family member involved is to ask them to do a specific task that is within their means. It is possible that this particular family member does not know how to help and is withdrawing because they aren’t sure what responsibilities they should take on. If there is no progress on persuading the family member to contribute, continue trying by sending e-mails or letters and making phone calls. Share medical records revealing the reality of the aging parent’s health and the list of tasks that need to be completed. If denial continues to be an issue, involve a third party. This could be a doctor, a family friend, or a mediator. Keep trying, if not for the benefit of an extra helping hand, then to involve this sibling in the limited time left with the aging parent. Managing the affairs of a dying parent is not an easy feat. To help things go smoothly and to keep family members on friendly terms, be proactive in maintaining the peace.  
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Is Your Assisted Living Facility Prepared for an Emergency?

Our Los Angeles assisted living facilities are ready for any emergency.

Photo used under Creative Commons from imarcc.

No matter where your loved one’s assisted living facility is located, there’s the chance of a natural disaster. Federal and state laws require that assisted living facilities have a comprehensive disaster plan in writing. Yet, you should not take it for granted that every facility will have an effective plan in place. When interviewing facilities, try to gain a clear understanding of their disaster plan and their capability to carry out that plan. First, ask the management if you can review the facility’s disaster plan yourself. If they seem reluctant to grant this request, that by itself is a red flag. You may not be an emergency preparedness expert, but start by using your basic knowledge and common sense to evaluate the plan. Is something obvious missing? Take yourself through a disaster scenario in your mind. Can you spot potential problems? Ideally, when reading through you’ll have the impression that they’ve thought of everything. Asking to see disaster plans at several different facilities will help you start to recognize which plans are better designed. Evaluate the comprehensiveness of the plan. Does it cover all reasonable possibilities? Any true potential threats should be addressed in this plan. For example: here in California we are not overly concerned about hurricanes, but you would definitely want an assisted living facility to have a plan for earthquakes. Some of the questions you should ask the facility manager or director are:  
  • Does the facility cover these plans with the residents and the staff on a frequent schedule? There should be regular reviews and drills that involve both the residents and the staff. What kind of emergency training do staff members have?
  •  Is someone who is well-versed in the plan and capable of leading staff in carrying it out on site at all times?  Is there a plan to increase staff during a disaster? The number of people necessary to support a facility on a day to day basis may be insufficient during an emergency situation.
  • Are there disaster kits on site? If so, what is included in these kits and how will they be distributed and used in the event of a disaster? A facility should have disaster kits on hand that provide each person with canned food and water for one week. The kit should also contain candles, matches, flashlights, batteries, and first aid and sanitation supplies.
  • Even during an emergency, residents need to continue following their care plans. Ask the facility about their ability to continue without interruption during a disaster. Care plans should be easily accessible.
  • How will essential medications be dispensed during and after a disaster? You will want to be sure your loved one can get their medication during disasters.
  • Is there a plan for how to notify family members in an emergency?
  • How often is the plan updated?
The websites for FEMA and The American Red Cross can provide you with more information about specific types of disasters and improve your ability to evaluate a facility’s preparedness.    
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Tips for Selling Your Home to Pay for Assisted Living

Board care for elderly may require selling a home.

Photo used under Creative Commons from Casey Serin.

When they decide to make the move to assisted living, for many seniors selling their home makes a lot of sense. They have likely accumulated a great deal of equity during their ownership, and now no longer need this residence since they’ll be living somewhere else. But selling a house in today’s market is often a challenge. Below are some tips on how to make this process easier, so that you can more quickly move on to a new stage of your life. Keep Tabs on Your Agent’s Work While you will probably hire a real estate agent to sell and show your home, it doesn’t mean this agent will necessarily do a good job. So after they’ve listed your home, go online and see if potential buyers can find it easily, going back to check again on a weekly basis. See what pictures have been posted and if you agree with the description of the home itself. Tell your agent to change it if you don’t. They work for you. Post a Love Letter on YouTube The video sharing site can work to your advantage when selling your home, as you may have lived in it for decades and can talk candidly about why it is such a great place. Have a family member video tape you or do it yourself and show your home from a very intimate perspective. This will be helpful to your real estate agent and to prospective buyers when they are trying to make a decision. Make Necessary Inside Fixes All those little maintenance issues will need to be fixed. New paint, appliance repairs, light switches – tackle the things you have been putting off for years because you can live with them. Your home needs to be in the best shape possible for buyers, much like a car needs to be perfectly clean and waxed before you sell it. These improvements can always be folded into the overall sales price – and may even raise the value of your home beyond their cost. Up the Curb Appeal First impressions go a long way. So just as repainting and doing small bits of maintenance around the house are helpful for the resale value, so is the exterior landscaping. Have a good yard crew come in and mow the lawn, plant a flower garden, and trim the trees so when that eager new family shows up to buy their first home, your place will charm them as much as any they have seen. Know the Right Price Learn what other homes similar to yours are selling for in your area and have a good idea of your property’s worth. Pricing a home too high will just waste time and money and add stress; however, pricing too low will just leave money on the table. Do your research with the help of a real estate agent and make sure you price your home in exactly the right range so that it will sell quickly, but not cheaply.  
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How to Tell If Your Parent Is Eating in Assisted Living

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The best assisted living facilities provide nutritious meals designed to help older adults maintain their health and energy. At Raya’s Paradise, we pride ourselves on offering home-cooked food that is both delicious and nutritious. However, as people age or manage chronic illnesses, they may lose their appetite, even with readily available meals. It is essential to keep an eye on your parent’s eating habits during visits to ensure they are receiving proper nutrition.
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What is the Difference Between A Large Assisted Living Facility And A Smaller Board and Care Home?

Our assisted living facilities in Los Angeles feel like home. Most people are unaware of the key differences between a large assisted living facility, which may house 150 or more residents, and a smaller board and care home. Understanding these differences is essential to making the right choice for your loved one.
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Hospice Care: What to Expect

Board care for elderly can be done properly.Deciding to enter hospice care is never easy. Everyone involved in the decision may find themselves experiencing regret, sorrow, and confusion about what to expect. While issues of death and dying are always extremely difficult, knowing what to expect can help make the process a little more bearable. Most know hospice as a form of care for those who are suffering from terminal illness. It’s more than just medical care, however, as clergy and social workers may be part of the hospice team in addition to physicians and nurses. Hospice helps patients and their families come to terms with this difficult event. The main goal of hospice is to make the final days of a dying person’s life as painless and comfortable as possible, while helping to bring about a sense of resolution. One of the main qualifications in order to be eligible for hospice is that the individual must be expected to live for no longer than six months. In most cases, if the person requires additional time, their physician can extend their care. Hospice can be discontinued if the person receiving it begins to recover. One of the first steps in going about retaining hospice services is to consult with the loved one’s primary care physician. You can also contact a hospice group or a facility, such as Raya’s Paradise, that provides hospice care. Once a hospice team is assembled, all aspects of the patient’s care will be considered and a comprehensive plan will be developed. This would include the patient’s comfort level, finances, necessary medical care and medication, as well as religious beliefs. When determining whether hospice is appropriate, physicians will usually use the Karnofsky Performance scale. This is a set of criteria to help evaluate the patient’s general health in order to determine life expectancy. Common diseases that usually resolve in hospice include cancer and Alzheimer’s disease. Some may consider opting for hospice to be giving up. This couldn’t be further from the truth! In fact, it takes a very strong person to be willing to accept help and support when it’s needed. This is not a matter of giving up, but more of doing what’s necessary at that point in time. Furthermore, by choosing hospice, your loved one will receive increased comfort and support, leading to more fulfilling and meaningful final months of life. Discussing hospice is never easy. Nobody wants to be the first person to bring up the topic of death and dying. If you or someone you love is considering hospice, it’s important to realize that not saying anything could in fact delay hospice and cause unnecessary pain. Hospice is all about making the last stage of life as comfortable as possible. There’s no point in prolonging discomfort. Take a moment to begin the conversation now and you may help ease the suffering of a loved one.
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Making Memory Boxes for Seniors

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For seniors experiencing memory loss due to conditions like Alzheimer’s disease, memory boxes offer a unique way to help them reconnect with their past. These boxes, filled with personal items and sensory objects, can spark cherished memories and create meaningful interactions. Memory boxes go beyond words, using touch, sight, and even smell to unlock moments from long ago.
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Downsizing to Prepare for a Move to Assisted Living

Board care for elderly takes prep time.

Photo used under Creative Commons from Bunches and Bits.

The transition to assisted living is a challenging time. One task that will need to be completed is deciding what to do with the valuables and property you have accumulated over a lifetime. Unfortunately, moving to assisted living usually means less space, and you’ll have to sort out which belongings you’ll keep and which you’ll discard. The process will inevitably become emotional as you relive the memories your current home holds, all the while knowing that things are now changing. Below are some tips to keep in mind when going through this monumental task. 1. Remind yourself that change is inevitable. As hard as it may be, change is something we need to face. But you do have options in choosing how you react to it, and this can make all the difference. Focusing on the sorrow you feel may leave you stuck in sadness. Encourage yourself to see the opportunities and benefits of this transition. Getting rid of items can feel liberating and rewarding. There is the potential to meet new friends among those you’ll be living with now.  And by moving to the care of assisted living you may be able to look forward to better health in the supportive environment it offers. 2. Begin as early as possible. Going through an entire home is no small task. While this is completely manageable spread out over the course of several weeks, trying to do this all in a few days or even a week can be highly stressful and overwhelming. 3. Break the task down into small steps. Just as waiting until the last minute could prove to make this process unbearable, trying to take on the entire task at once could make your head spin. Going room by room will make your life a whole lot easier. Take things one drawer or one closet at a time if you need to. 4. Consider how life is changing when evaluating items. A new home and lifestyle means new needs, and many things that seem useful or valuable now may just be a burden in your next home. Will this item require maintenance or care that you no longer want or are able to provide? Are there size considerations to be made? Will there be space for this belonging in the new place? Will you ever use it? There’s only so much room for possessions, so make sure the ones you do bring serve a purpose, even if that purpose is simply to bring you joy or comfort (i.e., a family picture). Figuring out what to do with these objects once you have begun downsizing can also become an issue. You have several options here, including donating to charity, selling them in a yard or estate sale, or giving them away to a family member or friend. Sometimes it can be very satisfying to give your belongings as gifts to those who will find them meaningful. Donating to charity can also be just as fulfilling. Whatever you do, don’t fall into the trap of letting your attachment to objects overrule practicality. In the end, what we really need are the simple things: family and companions with which to share old memories and make new ones. Working to enjoy life and savor the moment can make things seem less important.      
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How the Option of Assisted Living Developed

How board care for elderly developed.Today, seniors enjoy a wide range of options to choose from when it comes to finding a place to spend their later years. Things haven’t always been this way. In fact, not too long ago, assisted living wasn’t even an option. Prior to the advent of these facilities, older people could only choose between staying at home under the care of a family member or a hired caregiver, or going to a nursing home. Going to a nursing home was not something one wanted to do, as it often meant forfeiting basic rights, such as the right to privacy. Many times, residents were not permitted to have locks on their doors and would have to share bathrooms. The institutionalized setting and communal bathing and showering areas created an environment all too reminiscent of some of the facilities used to care for the mentally ill. To make matters worse, nursing homes were gaining a reputation for being places where the elderly were frequently mistreated, neglected or even abused. Dr. Keren Brown Wilson, whose own mother lived in a nursing home, made it her life’s work to develop alternative means to care for the elderly. She was integral in the inception of the first assisted living facility, which would serve as a model for such facilities all across the country. One of Dr. Wilson’s major priorities when developing the assisted living model was to restore the privacy and dignity that were missing in the institutionalized settings of nursing homes. In addition to this, Dr. Wilson made sure that these facilities were adequately staffed with round-the-clock supervision and a more individualized level of care with one-on-one support. This prototype for a new and innovative way to provide care for the elderly drew attention from many other organizations that then helped turn assisted living into a viable alternative for older adults looking to make the transition to a living situation that provided more support. The need for supportive living accommodations for seniors is greater than ever, and fortunately, there are a variety of desirable arrangements available. Today’s seniors can choose from different types of assisted living facilities depending on the specific care they need, their budget, and lifestyle choices. Their options, rather than demeaning them at the end of their lives, can help make these years a golden time to enjoy the sunset of their days with few worries.
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