Ensuring that seniors with dementia take their medications correctly is a significant concern for caregivers. The U.S. government estimates that medication mismanagement leads to 10% of hospital admissions and over 125,000 preventable deaths annually. Many seniors take multiple medications daily, increasing the risk of missed doses, overdosing, or taking the wrong pills.
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Many caregivers are proud of the fact that they’re helping their loved one and doing what they can to keep that person home with the family. But no one claims that caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease is easy. Taking on this heroic task is without a doubt exhausting: mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially. Most caregivers report feeling high levels of emotional stress, and many are just simply worn out physically.
For this reason, all caregivers should consider the option of respite care. Respite care is offered at assisted living and similar facilities. A loved one can check into the facility temporarily and there get the expert care they need, allowing caregivers some time to recharge. This can be for as long as a week or two, or as short as an afternoon, giving you the chance to get some important errands done.
Rather than frantically doing a search for a respite care facility when you’re at the end of your rope and in a panic, it’s best to start your research before you think you need it, while caregiving still seems manageable. Talk to senior homes and adult daycare programs in your area to learn about the different options available.
Respite care might be a good change not just for you, but for your loved one as well. They may enjoy the chance to interact with the other seniors that they meet in their temporary home. Many facilities will hold entertaining events, or run fun activities that are specially designed for their particular ability level.
Some Alzheimer’s patients may have some trouble with being in a new environment. However, they do have the capability to get used to being in a new place if you make taking a break a regular routine.
How do you know when making use of respite care might be a good idea? Pay attention to your emotions and your body to recognize burnout. These include having trouble sleeping, exhaustion, anxiety, depression, social withdrawal, and anger. Your body will often warn you when you’re getting in over your head, so be mindful of any health problems that crop up.
Respite care is not a cop-out, and you are not abandoning your loved one. Rather, you are taking a break to prevent your own burnout. By taking advantage of the respite care option, you are strengthening your ability to provide the best possible care for your loved one. Consider that if you ignore your stress, you may create bigger problems down the line that will result in you giving up caregiving permanently. You can always run much further if you start and stop, rather than push through past the point of exhaustion.
Contact us for more information about the respite care options at Raya’s Paradise.
Families facing Alzheimer’s disease are often told that a particular food, supplement or diet can protect the brain, restore memory or even reverse cognitive decline. These claims are appealing because food feels familiar and controllable at a time when so much else feels uncertain.
Nutrition does matter. Food affects cardiovascular health, blood sugar, energy, weight, strength and the ability to recover from illness. These factors can influence how well an older adult functions from day to day. However, no individual food and no dietary pattern has been proven to cure or reverse Alzheimer’s disease.
Losing a spouse is one of the most emotionally challenging experiences a person can face. When a loved one with dementia goes through this loss, the grieving process can be even more complex. Dementia affects memory, cognition, and emotional regulation, making it difficult for individuals to process and cope with bereavement in traditional ways.
Most people have fond memories of at least one of their grandparents. These are some of our most cherished relationships. It’s important to both your children and your parents that they make the most of this relationship while they still can. During this difficult time when the family struggles with dementia or the poor health of your parent, strong grandparent-grandchild relationships are vital and can be very nurturing to them both. Often people leave children out during times of illness, but if this happens they can miss out on the chance to help a relative who needs them.
As adults, we want to feel that we are valuable and that we’re making a contribution to our world. That’s what makes old age so tough – we can begin to feel that we’re no longer relevant and that we no longer matter. Kids, on the other hand, want to be recognized for what they do well, especially when they’re teenagers.
Kids today often don’t know much about history, and this is where a good relationship with their grandparents can really benefit them. They have much to learn about where they come from, and about things that happened before they were born. Even if your parent thinks your family history is unremarkable, your kids are likely to be curious and glad to know where they came from.
And kids, in turn, know quite a few things that grandparents don’t. They may be able to set up your mom’s new DVD player faster than you can say “Gone with the Wind” or they are pros at doing that cool new dance everyone’s talking about. Even a sullen teenager may be more receptive to assisted living visits if you find some way to incorporate their talents. Maybe they can build an online photo album with treasured images to share with their grandparent. Or, if they were just in a school play, maybe your child and their classmates will agree to volunteer to perform a few scenes to entertain the assisted living residents. (Won’t mom be proud!)
Make sure that both grandchild and grandparent know what they can contribute to the other, and ask each of them privately to help you by contributing their knowledge and spending time together.
By each of them sharing what they know and what they’re good at, grandparents and grandchildren can meet each other’s emotional needs. So getting them to spend time together can be good for your parent, good for your kids, and ultimately, good for you because everyone’s happier and a little less stressed.
When someone has received a terminal diagnosis, it’s a sensitive and traumatic time for them. Our words and actions at this point carry great weight. While it would be nice to believe that there’s no wrong thing to say and it’s the thought that counts, those close to the dying can make the experience easier or harder for them depending on what they say.
If your loved one has recently received the bad news, look to them for clues about what to say and do. Don’t be surprised if they in fact don’t want to talk at all. People facing their own passing are often relieved to not have others say anything – though they are also glad to know that they can reach out if they choose to do so. Do your best to respect what they want, but find ways to make it clear that you’re willing to offer a listening ear when they need it. Rather than fretting about what to say and whether it’s the “right thing,” put your energy into listening to and observing your loved one.
Whatever you do, avoid grand platitudes about fate or God’s will. These won’t make the person feel better, and may even make them feel that they are at fault for their illness in some way. Don’t tell your loved one that they’ll be OK – both you and they know that this isn’t really true. Don’t try to praise them by telling them how strong they are – at this time they may not feel very strong. Instead, they need to be allowed to acknowledge their fears.
Find ways to emphasize that you love them and that you’re there to help them in the way they need. Do your best to make this time pleasant and comfortable for them. This is one exception to the advice to let your loved one guide you – as far as comfort goes you should take the lead. This is the time for random acts of kindness like making them breakfast or doing their laundry for them. They may be too preoccupied to ask for help with these everyday tasks. Make sure that you follow through on any offers you make.
What gift do you give someone who doesn’t have many days left in the physical world? The gift of your time. Even sitting quietly with your loved one can be valuable to them. It sends the message that you’re there for them and that you’re willing to support them in their struggles.
Your loved one has multiple doctors already. Do they really need to add one more to the list? This post is designed to help you decide whether your loved one should consider seeing a geriatric specialist.
A geriatric specialist provides comprehensive care for the elderly. They’ve completed their residency in Family or Internal Medicine, and have one or two years additional training in the various issues – physical, mental, and social – that affect this age group.
There are several benefits to seeing a geriatric specialist. Seniors sometimes experience illnesses differently than younger adults, and so it helps for them to work with a doctor who understands their specific situation. Geriatric specialists are especially well-equipped to understand the particular complexity of senior health issues, which are typically caused by multiple factors. For example, they can examine a senior’s prescription drug regimine and make sure that they’re not over-medicated. They will also be familiar with the particular resources available to help your loved one in your specific local area.
Whether or not a senior should see a geriatric specialist depends on their particular situation. After all, seniors themselves are different: one 80 year-old may be active with minimal health problems, while another may be struggling with serious health conditions. Geriatric specialists tend to step in when an individual’s health problems become complicated. It’s recommended that all seniors consider a visit when they turn 65, and highly recommended for those seniors who are in some way impaired, who have multiple medical problems, who are experiencing cognitive decline or dementia, or whose family members are struggling with caregiving.
If you do decide to take your loved one to see a geriatric specialist, the initial assessment will take several hours. You’ll be given a detailed questionairre to fill out that your loved one will most likely need help with. Make sure you bring a list of all medications, hearing aids and dentures, eyeglass prescriptions, and information about other doctors your loved on is seeing or has seen recently. The following elements make up a typical assessment:
- Complete physical exam
- Detailed medical history
- List of medications and their purpose
- Dental exam
- Hearing and vision tests
- Pain level analysis
- Cognitive evaluation
- Osteoporosis screening
- Dietary analysis and advice
- Meeting with a social worker
- Discussion with family members
You expect to have to care for your own parents in their old age, but often times we find ourselves caring for our in-laws too. For many this isn’t a problem, as they’re your spouse’s parents and part of your family. But sometimes, this situation presents issues when we have conflicts with our in-laws. It’s also not unheard of for someone to be caring for their former spouse’s parents, even when they’re no longer married to that person. Then things become a little more complicated.
Though gender roles are changing in contemporary life, it’s often women who find themselves in this situation. Sometimes their partner is helpful and supportive, but too often this isn’t the case.
Men aren’t used to taking on nurturing roles like this and tending to someone physically. They may manage their parents’ finances or help with more manly tasks like mowing the lawn if his parents still live in their own home. And of course he calls the shots for the big decisions. But the women in his life end up taking on the responsibility for tasks like preparing meals and bathing – and this role is not always welcome on the part of the woman.
If you find yourself in this situation, try appealing to your spouse’s desire to be a good caretaker. Once their parents have passed away, many children regret not doing more for them while they were still alive. Remind him that he’ll want to be proud of what he’s done for them. You’ll also want to remind him that doing so-called “feminine” tasks doesn’t make him less of a man – he’s getting hung up on stereotypes. If you work, you can also make it clear that you have just as much of a right to spend time on your career as he does. You have your other obligations too.
In the end, you need to decide how much care you’re willing to take on, and then leave it to your spouse to handle things from there. Set strong, clear boundaries: ultimately his parents are his responsibility. Of course, if you’re married, you’ll need to take the health of your relationship into account with any decision you make. However, if you’re divorced, you have no obligation, though some women feel they should care for their former in-laws because they are, after all, their children’s grandparents. But the key point to remember is that you are in charge of your contribution.
Through our communication with others and with ourselves, we create reality. Does that sound a little new age to you? Think about it. Everyone has a friend whose negative attitude makes them difficult to be around because you in turn start to feel more pessimistic. Or, on the other end of the scale, there are enthusiastic people who leave us feeling more energized. It’s a basic fact that the people around us influence what we think and feel. And this is true not just for our friends and family, but for ourselves as well. What we think and say to ourselves can change our lives.
Examine your own thoughts about caring for your loved one. If you say to yourself, “This is a hard situation” you’ll experience it as being unpleasant. Try telling yourself, “This situation is a challenge” instead. Can you see how that might change how you look at things a little? Challenge implies that this is something you can overcome, and that will make you stronger as you deal with it. Watch how you discuss the events in your life, both what you tell others and what you tell yourself. Our words not only describe our feelings, but also create what we feel.
Here are a few other tips for keeping a positive attitude:
- Express thanks at the end of each day. Take some time to look back over your day and think about the things that went right. Even if you had a truly lousy day, you probably still have a roof over your head, food to eat, friends and family members you love, and a life in one of the wealthiest countries in the world. You can always find something to be grateful for.
- Commit a random act of kindness. This can be one of the best ways to make yourself feel better and adjust your mood. Try bringing your mother flowers, giving a neighbor a small present, or paying for the person behind you in the drive-through. We usually think that to feel good we need to do things for ourselves, but doing things for others can have a powerful impact.
- Take a minute to appreciate nature. Even if it’s just a small park or your backyard garden, there’s probably some place close by where you can go for a few minutes to clear your head and be in the moment. You don’t need to hike out into the wilderness. Just take a few minutes to admire the beauty of the world around you. Consider it a mini-vacation.
Health care bills are notoriously confusing. Of course, Medicare all by itself is a maze, but beyond that there’s also the out-of-pocket expenses that Medicare doesn’t cover. These can be a significant financial obligation: almost $200,000 for a married couple over the course of their retirement according to one estimate. Here are some steps you can take to try to make these expenses more manageable.
1. Use in-network providers
Whenever possible, use in-network providers for all your care. This can lower your bill tremendously, as in-network providers have previously negotiated what they’ll charge with your insurance company. Take the time to sit down with your plan to understand what is covered and what isn’t. This can result in significant savings, both immediately for particular medical events and over time.
2. Examine your bill closely
Whenever we get a bill, many of us will quickly write a check out of habit, wanting to be prompt and on top of these sort of things. However, it’s worth taking the time to go over medical bills line-by-line, as they frequently contain errors and services that you or your loved one didn’t receive (as often as 80% of the time!). This is the time to be a pain and question anything you don’t understand: don’t pay until you’re confident about what you’re paying for. You’ll also want to verify the basics, such as your name, address and date of service. You may be surprised at how often it’s worth it and that being thorough leads to savings. Plus, it’s a much better idea to do this up front. If you discover an error later, it may be very difficult to get a refund from the provider after you’ve paid. Unfortunately, they’ll tend to be more responsive when they’re eager to get the matter resolved and have your payment in hand.
3. Verify that the bill has been adjusted for insurance payment
One important item to note when reviewing your bill is whether the different line items have been adjusted to reflect the insurance rates. If you don’t see this, insurance was not applied. You should contact the office right away to make sure they run the charges through your insurance first.
4. Check the bill against your EOB
You should never pay a medical bill without getting an EOB from your insurance company first. This document will verify what you’re supposed to pay. This is an important step for eliminating possible errors. Be wary if the bill arrives much sooner than the EOB does–this means that the medical provider has not received payment from your insurance company yet.
5. Be proactive
Don’t just let errors slide–contact both your insurance company and the provider to resolve billing issues. Often it will be important to be persistent: sadly, larger companies will try to win in these disputes by ignoring you sometimes. At the same time, make sure you keep the lines of communication open with all parties. If you are waiting to hear from your insurance company before you pay the doctor, let their office know what the delay is. Otherwise, they may be very quick to assume that you’re trying to dodge the bill and send the account to collections. This will be counterproductive, resulting in more unnecessary charges and time spent resolving the issue.
6. Negotiate
Even if you don’t have insurance, you can try asking providers if they’ll charge you the same rate they charge insurance companies. Also, if a bill is more than you can afford right away, see if the provider will lower it in exchange for faster payment. You can also try asking for financial assistance. Some providers will let you pay in interest-free installments or work out some other reasonable arrangement. They would much rather get the bill paid than have you feel the situation is hopeless and ignore it.