When a parent is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, families must make difficult decisions, including how to finance their long-term care. In many cases, selling their home becomes necessary to afford assisted living or memory care. However, if the parent is no longer legally capable of managing their affairs, selling the home becomes a complicated legal process.
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When someone has received a terminal diagnosis, it’s a sensitive and traumatic time for them. Our words and actions at this point carry great weight. While it would be nice to believe that there’s no wrong thing to say and it’s the thought that counts, those close to the dying can make the experience easier or harder for them depending on what they say.
If your loved one has recently received the bad news, look to them for clues about what to say and do. Don’t be surprised if they in fact don’t want to talk at all. People facing their own passing are often relieved to not have others say anything – though they are also glad to know that they can reach out if they choose to do so. Do your best to respect what they want, but find ways to make it clear that you’re willing to offer a listening ear when they need it. Rather than fretting about what to say and whether it’s the “right thing,” put your energy into listening to and observing your loved one.
Whatever you do, avoid grand platitudes about fate or God’s will. These won’t make the person feel better, and may even make them feel that they are at fault for their illness in some way. Don’t tell your loved one that they’ll be OK – both you and they know that this isn’t really true. Don’t try to praise them by telling them how strong they are – at this time they may not feel very strong. Instead, they need to be allowed to acknowledge their fears.
Find ways to emphasize that you love them and that you’re there to help them in the way they need. Do your best to make this time pleasant and comfortable for them. This is one exception to the advice to let your loved one guide you – as far as comfort goes you should take the lead. This is the time for random acts of kindness like making them breakfast or doing their laundry for them. They may be too preoccupied to ask for help with these everyday tasks. Make sure that you follow through on any offers you make.
What gift do you give someone who doesn’t have many days left in the physical world? The gift of your time. Even sitting quietly with your loved one can be valuable to them. It sends the message that you’re there for them and that you’re willing to support them in their struggles.With the rise of online shopping, many people are now considering purchasing their prescription medications over the internet. Online pharmacies promise convenience, lower prices, and home delivery, making them an attractive option, especially for seniors or individuals managing chronic conditions. However, the risks of counterfeit or unsafe medications are significant, making it essential to navigate online purchases with caution.
Your loved one has multiple doctors already. Do they really need to add one more to the list? This post is designed to help you decide whether your loved one should consider seeing a geriatric specialist.
A geriatric specialist provides comprehensive care for the elderly. They’ve completed their residency in Family or Internal Medicine, and have one or two years additional training in the various issues – physical, mental, and social – that affect this age group.
There are several benefits to seeing a geriatric specialist. Seniors sometimes experience illnesses differently than younger adults, and so it helps for them to work with a doctor who understands their specific situation. Geriatric specialists are especially well-equipped to understand the particular complexity of senior health issues, which are typically caused by multiple factors. For example, they can examine a senior’s prescription drug regimine and make sure that they’re not over-medicated. They will also be familiar with the particular resources available to help your loved one in your specific local area.
Whether or not a senior should see a geriatric specialist depends on their particular situation. After all, seniors themselves are different: one 80 year-old may be active with minimal health problems, while another may be struggling with serious health conditions. Geriatric specialists tend to step in when an individual’s health problems become complicated. It’s recommended that all seniors consider a visit when they turn 65, and highly recommended for those seniors who are in some way impaired, who have multiple medical problems, who are experiencing cognitive decline or dementia, or whose family members are struggling with caregiving.
If you do decide to take your loved one to see a geriatric specialist, the initial assessment will take several hours. You’ll be given a detailed questionairre to fill out that your loved one will most likely need help with. Make sure you bring a list of all medications, hearing aids and dentures, eyeglass prescriptions, and information about other doctors your loved on is seeing or has seen recently. The following elements make up a typical assessment:
- Complete physical exam
- Detailed medical history
- List of medications and their purpose
- Dental exam
- Hearing and vision tests
- Pain level analysis
- Cognitive evaluation
- Osteoporosis screening
- Dietary analysis and advice
- Meeting with a social worker
- Discussion with family members
A dementia diagnosis often raises concerns about whether the condition is hereditary. Many people worry about passing it on to their children, while others watching their parents struggle with the disease wonder, Will this happen to me one day? The good news is that, in most cases, dementia is not directly inherited. However, some forms of dementia have genetic components that may increase a person’s risk. Scientists are still working to fully understand these complex connections, but research has shown that while family history can be a factor, lifestyle and environmental influences often play an even greater role.
You expect to have to care for your own parents in their old age, but often times we find ourselves caring for our in-laws too. For many this isn’t a problem, as they’re your spouse’s parents and part of your family. But sometimes, this situation presents issues when we have conflicts with our in-laws. It’s also not unheard of for someone to be caring for their former spouse’s parents, even when they’re no longer married to that person. Then things become a little more complicated.
Though gender roles are changing in contemporary life, it’s often women who find themselves in this situation. Sometimes their partner is helpful and supportive, but too often this isn’t the case.
Men aren’t used to taking on nurturing roles like this and tending to someone physically. They may manage their parents’ finances or help with more manly tasks like mowing the lawn if his parents still live in their own home. And of course he calls the shots for the big decisions. But the women in his life end up taking on the responsibility for tasks like preparing meals and bathing – and this role is not always welcome on the part of the woman.
If you find yourself in this situation, try appealing to your spouse’s desire to be a good caretaker. Once their parents have passed away, many children regret not doing more for them while they were still alive. Remind him that he’ll want to be proud of what he’s done for them. You’ll also want to remind him that doing so-called “feminine” tasks doesn’t make him less of a man – he’s getting hung up on stereotypes. If you work, you can also make it clear that you have just as much of a right to spend time on your career as he does. You have your other obligations too.
In the end, you need to decide how much care you’re willing to take on, and then leave it to your spouse to handle things from there. Set strong, clear boundaries: ultimately his parents are his responsibility. Of course, if you’re married, you’ll need to take the health of your relationship into account with any decision you make. However, if you’re divorced, you have no obligation, though some women feel they should care for their former in-laws because they are, after all, their children’s grandparents. But the key point to remember is that you are in charge of your contribution.
Lewy body dementia is a particular form of dementia, characterized by abnormal brain cells called Lewy bodies. The disease gets its unusual name from its discoverer, Dr. Levi of Germany, who uncovered the disease in 1912. “Levi” was changed to “Lewy” in the English translation. Lewy body dementia is one of the most common forms of dementia, occurring in 15% or more of all cases. However, the general public and even some health professionals are not as familiar with the disease as they are with better-known dementias like Alzheimer’s.
Researchers at this time don’t know why Lewy bodies form. They are made up of alpha-synuclein protein, which is also connected to Parkinson’s disease and other disorders. Indeed, Parkinson’s disease patients and Lewy Body dementia sufferers display similar symptoms, especially in later stages of the disease. Lewy bodies collect in the nuclei of the neurons that help manage motor control and memory. They can accumulate by themselves, but they also sometimes appear in the brains of those with Alzheimer’s. Because it is easily confused with similar diseases, Lewy Body dementia is under-diagnosed. However, seeking a diagnosis is critical, as it can lead to proper care that will make a real difference in quality of life and the length of time the patient is able to maintain their independence.
Unlike Alzheimer’s, in which the disease eventually kills most of the victim’s neurons, in Lewy Body dementia the patient only loses 10 to 15% of neurons, though other areas of the brain are damaged as well. Lewy Body dementia tends to affect different areas of the brain than Alzheimer’s does. The disease interferes with language, memory, and higher-level mental functions. Lewy body dementia also often occurs in connection with anxiety and depression.
As with other forms of dementia, there is no cure currently available. Doctors will prescribe various medications to treat the different symptoms, however. Drugs like rivastigmine and donepezil are used to treat cognitive problems, and may also help with motor control and psychiatric issues. Motor control can also be helped by levodopa. Drugs that treat hallucinations however usually are not used since there’s the possibility they could make motor control issues worse. The life expectancy for someone with the disease is about eight years.
Lewy body dementia is an area of active government-funded research, with the immediate goal of better understanding what causes the disease. Scientists hope to eventually discover ways to treat it, prevent it and cure it.
There are many misconceptions out there about Alzheimer’s. Below are some of the most common, along with explanations about what the real deal is.
There are cures that will stop the development of Alzheimer’s.
Unfortunately, at this time there is no cure for Alzheimer’s disease, and no way to halt its progress. However, there are drugs that will, temporarily, pause the deterioration of or even improve cognitive skills and memory. But they only, for a period of time, treat the symptoms and not the disease itself. These drugs only work for some people, so there’s no guarantee that they can help your loved one. These drugs include cholinesterase inhibtors like Aricept and Exelon, and memantine (also known as Namenda). Cholinesterase inhibitors are used in the earlier stages of Alzheimer’s, and memantine is prescribed later on.
The aspartame in artificial sweeteners contributes to memory loss.
Aspartame is an artificial sweetener approved by the FDA in 1996. It is made by combining two proteins, phenylalanine and aspartic acid, with methanol, a chemical found in various plant foods. The studies that have been done on this issue so far have yielded no evidence of a connection between memory loss and aspartame.
The use of aluminum in cooking or with food can cause Alzheimer’s.
Current studies do not show that eliminating aluminum, such as that in pots and pans and soda cans, reduces one’s chances of getting Alzheimer’s disease. The jury is still out on aluminum’s relationship to the disease, but scientists generally think that it is unlikely that it has any significant effect.
Alzheimer’s disease can be caused by a head injury.
This one is partially true: researchers have proven that having a severe head injury with loss of consciousness during one’s life will increase the chances that the individual will get Alzheimer’s disease. However, researchers don’t yet understand why this occurs and what is happening in the brain during these incidents that leads to Alzheimer’s.
Alzheimer’s disease won’t kill you.
Alzheimer’s is, in fact, a fatal disease. It first destroys brain cells that assist with memory functions, but over time the damage will spread to parts of the brain that control essential bodily functions. It can be hard to attribute death to Alzheimer’s disease, however. Many Alzheimer’s patients, due to their age, are experiencing a number of health issues. It is likely that several different problems contribute to the actual cause of death.We often think of zoos as destinations for children’s class trips, but seniors can enjoy them just as much! Taking your loved one to visit a zoo, perhaps with the extended family in tow, is a wonderful way to create togetherness and provide a stimulating activity.
With some of the best zoos and aquariums in the nation located in Southern California, this can be an excellent local day trip option for your loved one.
Through our communication with others and with ourselves, we create reality. Does that sound a little new age to you? Think about it. Everyone has a friend whose negative attitude makes them difficult to be around because you in turn start to feel more pessimistic. Or, on the other end of the scale, there are enthusiastic people who leave us feeling more energized. It’s a basic fact that the people around us influence what we think and feel. And this is true not just for our friends and family, but for ourselves as well. What we think and say to ourselves can change our lives.
Examine your own thoughts about caring for your loved one. If you say to yourself, “This is a hard situation” you’ll experience it as being unpleasant. Try telling yourself, “This situation is a challenge” instead. Can you see how that might change how you look at things a little? Challenge implies that this is something you can overcome, and that will make you stronger as you deal with it. Watch how you discuss the events in your life, both what you tell others and what you tell yourself. Our words not only describe our feelings, but also create what we feel.
Here are a few other tips for keeping a positive attitude:
- Express thanks at the end of each day. Take some time to look back over your day and think about the things that went right. Even if you had a truly lousy day, you probably still have a roof over your head, food to eat, friends and family members you love, and a life in one of the wealthiest countries in the world. You can always find something to be grateful for.
- Commit a random act of kindness. This can be one of the best ways to make yourself feel better and adjust your mood. Try bringing your mother flowers, giving a neighbor a small present, or paying for the person behind you in the drive-through. We usually think that to feel good we need to do things for ourselves, but doing things for others can have a powerful impact.
- Take a minute to appreciate nature. Even if it’s just a small park or your backyard garden, there’s probably some place close by where you can go for a few minutes to clear your head and be in the moment. You don’t need to hike out into the wilderness. Just take a few minutes to admire the beauty of the world around you. Consider it a mini-vacation.