Memory Care Resources

Explore insightful articles, expert advice, and practical tips to support your loved one’s transition to memory care. From navigating challenging conversations to understanding the benefits of personalized care, our Memory Care Resources category provides the guidance and knowledge families need to make informed decisions and ensure their loved ones thrive in a supportive environment.

Children Remember, Alzheimer’s Patients Don’t

Remember that Alzheimer's patients aren't children You finally made the decision to entrust Mom to assisted living. You know she’s being cared for with respect and dignity. She’s made friends with the lady in the next room. She seems to be eating well. So why does your stomach do a free-fall each time you drive over to visit her? Is it because you’re not sure what Mom will be like or how she will receive you? Watching a parent disappear into the muddle of age-related dementia or Alzheimer’s disease is not a charted course, nor is it a smooth one. Don’t Be the Teacher Do you find that one of the hardest parts of dealing with your parent’s aging is the reversal of roles? All of a sudden you’ve become Mom’s mom. You’re in charge. You have to come up with the answers. Or do you? You try to give her the tips and tools that worked so well with your kids, but in the end, your efforts end up frustrating and angering her. For example, she’s told you how frustrated she feels about not knowing what month it is, let alone what day. When your son was in kindergarten, he always wanted to know this information so he could report it at opening ceremony in school each morning. You bought him one of those A-Day-At-A-Time calendars, a Charlie Brown one. He’d faithfully tear off a cartoon each morning and be ready for the day. So you buy one for Mom: A Joke-a-Day. That will get her day off to a good start. But each time you visit, the pages remain un-torn. You tear them off and remind her how this will help her. Sometimes she seems to ignore you. And other times she rages out. “I”m sorry! I forgot! What’s the difference, anyway?!” Be Subtle The difference you need to remember is that what works with children will not work with an Alzheimer’s patient. Children’s brains are developing, displaying a sponge-like ability to absorb and imitate. They want to remember so they’ll do it right next time. So does Mom. But the plaque that is part of the Alzheimer’s puzzle has literally clogged her brain. She may be able to retain your tip for a day, an hour, maybe only a minute. Lessons won’t work. Don’t be a nag. Why not begin each visit with “Wow, what a stormy Tuesday this turned out to be!” or “Can you believe how April is just flying by?” This is a subtle way to clue her in to where we are on the calendar. Easy Does It Are you concerned that she seems to be spending more time in the past than the present? Remember when you chastised your kids for fantasizing or daydreaming? That’s not what Mom is doing if she thinks she’s back in her childhood days. Her short term memory is gone, but long-ago remembrances remain. For her, the past is more tangible than yesterday. When it’s your turn to speak, try to gently bring her into the present with tidbits of what’s going on in your life. Stay on the easy does it road and bring her into the present. Yanking is never a good idea Look for Options Remember how frustrated your daughter used to become, bursting into tears when she couldn’t zip her jacket? Well, that’s exactly how Dad feels now. Your daughter eventually learned, through necessity. But does Dad need a zippered jacket? Buttons do the same job. As you discovered with your children, some approaches work. Some don’t. If you’ve found one that does – great! If you haven’t, sometimes it’s best to follow the advice of The Beatles and… Let It Be.
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Activities to Do with a Loved One Who Has Dementia

With some creative thinking, you can come up with activities to do with a person who has dementia

Photo used under Creative Commons from Marg S.

It’s difficult to think of things to do with a parent or other loved one who has dementia. Your options may seem quite limited. However, it’s important to make the effort to find ways to spend quality time together: this will improve your loved one’s happiness and their health. Below are some tips to get you started: once you begin to think about it, you may realize that there’s more that you can do than you think. 1. Come up with activities that incorporate their interests. All of us thrive and are much happier when we’re doing things we enjoy. But what if your loved one is no longer capable of taking part in the activity in the same way they once did? The answer is to think of ways to modify their hobby. For example, if they once loved to read but their eyesight has deteriorated to the point where they can longer read even large-print books, you can get them audio books and a good set of headphones. If they once loved to play baseball, make sure they have a radio or TV that they can use to catch the game, or even take them to a day at the ballpark. 2. Don’t just try to pass the time. Ideally, the activity you do together will have a lot of meaning to both of you. Don’t plan to do something that neither of you would have enjoyed twenty years ago. Sometimes people rationalize not putting much thought into the time they spend with loved ones with dementia by telling themselves that the person won’t remember the activity anyway. It’s true, they may not remember, but they can enjoy the present when they’re in the moment. 3. Do something that involves social interaction. We all need to feel connected to others, even those of us with dementia. We make an effort to visit with a loved one in assisted living for this very reason. But try to add variety as much as you can. Consider taking your loved one with you on outings – even just a simple trip to the mall or to a park can be interesting and different for them. (Do try to avoid very hectic places, though, as that could make your loved one anxious.) Even if they’re not able to leave home, try to make sure they see new faces. Ask visiting relatives to come to their care home with you when they’re in town, or bring one of your loved one’s former neighbors by to say hello. 4. Do something that involves exercise. Does your loved one tend to wander, as many dementia patients do? The underlying cause of this behavior may be a lack of exercise. Try going for a walk with them around the neighborhood, or get them an exercise bike if they’re still limber enough to use it. This can be a solution for boredom and anxiety.
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Coping with Dementia Behavior

Los Angeles Demetia care understands, we can help.Of all the diseases that can affect our loved ones, dementia is one of the most difficult. Your loved one may have been an intelligent individual who you enjoyed interacting with, but the effects of the disease on the brain may cause that person to become an almost distant stranger you barely know. People facing the early stages of dementia generally understand that something is awry. They may become forgetful, have difficulty remembering names or performing ordinary tasks. Initially, your loved one may attempt to hide the challenges they face by offering a myriad of excuses. Eventually, though, as the disease progresses, your loved one’s frustration is likely to mount as he or she realizes things are getting worse and not better. The loss of independence and often the lack of understanding about what is actually happening becomes very frightening. Anger is sometimes an expression of fear, and as the closest individual to your loved one, you may bear the brunt of the angry outbursts often associated with dementia patients. It is also important for family caregivers to recognize that dementia patients often lose the ability to reason, so what makes perfect sense to them can seem outrageous to others. Sometimes wanting to prove their abilities to maintain their own independence, a dementia patient can, and will sometimes, defy the instructions given by family and physicians. In these moments, it’s important to remember that your loved one does not have the full control or understanding of their actions that they did ten or twenty years ago. So how do you, as a family caregiver, maintain a peaceful, positive relationship with your loved one? First, patience. Yes, mom or dad may ask the same question 25 times a day. Yes, they may tell stories so off-base you’re tempted to lose it. Don’t. Your loved one sees the world through an entirely different filter, and losing your temper benefits no one. So, answer the questions repeatedly. Change the subject. Refocus your loved one on the flowers or animals in the backyard or on music. If those tactics are ineffective, remove yourself temporarily by taking a 10 minute walk or enjoying a calming cup of tea. Praying or venting with a friend (far away from your loved one, of course) can also help reel you back in and shift your perspective. Second, do your best to avoid arguments. Your loved one’s stories may be driving you crazy, but arguments fuel tension at a time when your loved one needs reassurance that you will actually be there for them. Further, dementia patients can be quite stubborn, so they are less likely to back down in the face of conflict. Third, do not take things personally. Dementia patients often lash out at the very loved ones who are attempting to help. Harsh statements can be hurtful coming from anyone, but absolutely devastating when said by your loved one. This is when it is critical to understand the effects of the disease on a person’s behavior and memory. Blame it on the disease, not the person, to reduce your stress and enable you to maximize your time with your loved one. Fourth, get help. Your parent’s doctor can often prescribe medication to reduce their anxiety, so discuss the challenging behavior with them. They may have solutions you are not yet aware of. Also, your emotional and physical health is vital, too, so join a support group to connect with others going through similar experiences. Take care of yourself and see your doctor regularly.
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How to Talk with Someone Who Has Alzheimer’s

Our assisted living facility in California has items to comfort.

Photo used under Creative Commons from Karen Roe.

As human beings, we are created for meaningful relationship with one another. Healthy communication is a vital part of remaining connected in any relationship – even when the person you’re communicating with has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. While cognitive decline puts a tremendous toll on your loved one’s ability to remember significant people, places, and things, it can also severely impact your ability to communicate with them. There are, however, a few important tips to bear in mind as you are working to maintain healthy communication with your loved one. It is also vitally important that you remember no matter what stage your loved one is in, human connection is essential to his or her overall well-being. That said, the following are some suggestions to make this challenge a bit easier for the both of you.
  • Create A Distraction-Free Zone: Background noises can distract anyone – even those with no cognitive challenges at all. But for a loved one suffering from Alzheimer’s disease, the television, radio, or other device can easily compete with your conversation. Give your loved one’s conversation your full – and undivided – attention in a peaceful environment.
  • One-On-One Conversation: While it may sound silly, having multiple individuals gathered together for conversation can create an overwhelming and highly confusing environment for your loved one. After all, the more individuals who are present, the more apt each party is to contribute to the conversation. It can prove to be extremely agitating to your loved one, whose brain may still be trying to process what has been said as well as who has offered the input. Keep the conversations simple – one person at a time.
  • Simple, Lighthearted Conversation: There’s always something to be said for small talk, but especially so when your loved one is experiencing cognitive decline. Most of us are taught to converse with others using open-ended questions to spark conversation. However, for an Alzheimer’s patient, this leaves entirely too many choices. Remember, your loved one may not remember the significance of certain titles, such as “nurse.” Therefore, he or she may ask questions like, “What’s a nurse?” Combat these challenges by simply referring to your loved one by name, and referring to yourself (or another person) by name. It helps the Alzheimer’s patient to orient themselves. If you’re speaking to your loved one about an animal, address the animal either by name (if it’s a pet) or by species (for example, “cat”) instead of saying “it.” Again, it helps your loved one keep track within the conversation.
  • Be Patient and Non-Combative: It is easy to understand how difficult it becomes for you, as the loved one of a person suffering from such a debilitating disease, to repeat yourself or explain the who-what-and-where’s of very familiar things. But engaging in arguments will most likely end in one result – agitation for yourself and your loved one. Stay calm and repeat yourself if necessary. If your loved one seems to be having difficulty in making a request, do your best to state the question you feel he or she is attempting to ask. For example, if your loved one is fumbling around for something on a table nearby, you may say, “Are you looking for a tissue? Are you looking for your glasses?”
  • Watch Yourself! Everyone understands that non-verbal communication is as important as, if not more than, verbal cues. Cognitive decline, especially as it progresses, will undermine a person’s confidence as simple, routine tasks become increasingly more difficult. Thus, your loved one is likely to be highly sensitive to everything you say and do. The tone of your voice and your body language is important. Expressing your acceptance with friendly eye contact and kind facial expressions is important. After all, the goal is to maintain positive communication with your loved one and to minimize feelings of confusion or distress which may lead to negative, hostile reactions or to your loved one “shutting down” due to feelings of isolation.
 
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Signs of Alzheimer’s Disease

Our LA home for the aging is skilled at helping loved ones aflicted by Alzhiemer'sAlzheimer’s disease develops gradually over the years, usually going unnoticed at first but eventually becoming impossible to ignore. What signs should families be alert to? The key is to look for major changes that interfere with everyday life. Some examples of actions that might be taken by a senior with Alzheimer’s include:
  • Forgetting things that are part of a well-established routine, and were once done without fail.
  • Repeating questions.
  • Arriving somewhere without any idea how they got there.
  • Losing their way on a familiar route they take every day.
  • Forgetting to turn the stove off.
  • Leaving doors open.
  • Forgetting to eat meals.
  • Unusually poor hygiene that the person is not aware of.
  • Placing objects in unusual places.
  • The inability to remember even basic words, or speaking in such a way that’s hard to follow.
  • Sudden mood swings for no particular reason, or becoming uncharacteristically suspicious or trusting.
  • Lack of awareness of strange behavior.
Such behavior is serious and not to be confused with typical signs of aging, such as momentarily forgetting a piece of information or a name. Even otherwise healthy seniors may take longer to remember things than they used to. We all misplace items or forget important things from time to time—this is normal. Alzheimer’s is marked by the extreme frequency of these sort of incidents. It’s important to compare a loved one’s current behavior to how they were in the past. If someone has been on the more careless side throughout their life, a few odd forgetful incidents is less of a concern than if someone who was always highly conscientious shows the same behavior. If you suspect a loved one has Alzheimer’s, have them evaluated by a competent specialist. The problem may turn out to be simple forgetfulness or even a lack of sleep, but get the input of an expert.  The earlier the diagnosis, the better position you’ll be in to take steps to prevent a situation where your loved one or someone else gets hurt. You’ll also have the opportunity to get finances in order, obtain power of attorney, and plan for the care of your loved one. It’s not easy to accept that a once vibrant and active person may have Alzheimer’s, but it happens to families every day. In fact, half of those over 85 have the disease. The progression of Alzheimer’s can be heartbreaking, but it is more manageable for seniors and their families with counseling and treatment.
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Making Memory Boxes for Seniors

For seniors experiencing memory loss due to conditions like Alzheimer’s disease, memory boxes offer a unique way to help them reconnect with their past. These boxes, filled with personal items and sensory objects, can spark cherished memories and create meaningful interactions. Memory boxes go beyond words, using touch, sight, and even smell to unlock moments from long ago.
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Can Coconut Oil be the answer?

From CBN TV: Researchers say the ketones found in coconut oil have slowed the progression of Alzheimer’s disease in some people and may actually prevent it. Click here to read the article and download information.   Transcript:
Can Coconut Oil Be the Answer?Lori Johnson: Steve Newports Alzheimer’s disease has slowed considerably. Some of his symptoms even reversed thanks to an unlikely treatment prescribed by his wife, Doctor Mary Newport a physician who runs a neonatology ward at a Tampa, Florida hospital. She became determined to help her husband after he failed the so called Alzheimer’s clock test.Doctor Mary Newport: He drew a few little circles and several numbers just in a very random pattern, didn’t really look anything like a clock and the Doctor pulled me aside and she said, “You know he’s actually on the verge of severe Alzheimer’s at this point, he’s beyond moderate”. So that was very, very devastating news. Lori Johnson: Doctor Newport began learning everything she could about her husbands disease. Doctor Mary Newport: It appears to be a type of diabetes of the brain. It’s a process that starts to happen at least 10 or 20 years before you start having symptoms and it’s very similar to type 1 or type 2 diabetes in that you develop a problem with insulin. Lori Johnson: In this case, insulin problems prevent brains cells from excepting glucose, their primary fuel. Without it the cells eventually die, but there is an alternative fuel, key tones which the cells easily except. Key tones are metabolized in the liver after you eat medium chain triglycerides, which are found in coconut oil. So Doctor Newport added coconut oil to Steve’s diet. Just two weeks later he took the clock test again and as you can see demonstrated stunning improvement. Doctor Mary Newport: I thought at the time was it just good luck? Was it a lot of prayer? Was it the coconut oil? And I thought well, we’re going to keep the coconut oil going. Lori Johnson: Then, 3 weeks later he took the clock test for a third time, and continued to get better and it wasn’t just intellectually, he also improved emotionally and physically. Doctor Mary Newport: He was not able to run, he was able to run again or he couldn’t read for about a year and a half but after somewhere around 2 or 3 months he was able to read. Instead of being very sluggish, not talking very much in the morning, he would come out with energy and talkative and joking and he could find his water and utensils. Lori Johnson: Doctor Newport documented Steve’s success in a book called, Alzheimer’s Disease: What if there was a Cure? She received this stake of thank you letters from other people who’s loved ones Alzheimer’s was helped after they followed Steve’s diet. While coconut oil is encouraging, there’s actually something much more powerful. A team of biochemists lead by Professor Kieran Clarke at England’s Oxford University have developed a key tone, Ester, that packs a punch ten times great than coconut oil. Kieran Clarke: It reaches quite considerably higher levels and you can get whatever levels you want depending on how much you drink. Lori Johnson: The problem is, they need millions of dollars to mass produce it. Kieran Clarke: Very expensive and so we can’t make very much of it ourselves and what we would like is funding so that we can actually scale up and make it but of course there is no real profit in manufacturing stuff like that. Lori Johnson: So until a high potency key tone, Ester, is available to the general public coconut oil is still a good key tone source. Just make sure it’s pure, non hydrogenated. Avoid any hydrogenated oil, which is the same thing as dangerous trans fat. Many people avoid coconut oil because they think it’s bad for them, but it’s actually very healthy. Dr. Beverly Teter is a researcher at the University of Maryland who specializes in dietary fats. She says years ago coconut oil was criticized for raising cholesterol, but scientists have since learned there are two kinds of cholesterol. Low density lipoprotein, the bad kind and High density lipoprotein which is very good for you and is the kind that coconut oil raises. Doctor Beverly Teter: So they put out the message that it increases the serum cholesterol but the truth of the matter was helping to profile of the serum cholesterol. That never has been corrected in the public press and I think that’s the reason people have the misconceptions about it. Lori Johnson: So, not only does coconut oil improve your cholesterol levels, Doctor Teter says the way it helps the brains of some Alzheimer’s patients can be extended to people with Parkinson’s disease, Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, Epilepsy, Dementia, even Schizophrenia and Autism and one more thing, coconut oil is a natural antibiotic that also helps kill viruses like Human immunodeficiency virus and Herpes viruses. Doctor Beverly Teter: The coconut oil tends to keep the bacteria down so that if you’re assaulted with a virus, you’re immune system can concentrate on the virus. It doesn’t have to concentrate on 27 other bacteria that you may have been exposed to that day. Lori Johnson: So consider coconut oil to improve your over all health and perhaps even go so far as to stave off life threatening diseases. Lori Johnson, CBS News
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